Together We Stand, Divided We Fall

They say a family that prays together, stays together
And one that walks apart, falls apart
So together we stand, divided we fall
United we form Volton and take on all (Let's move!)
-Juelz Santana

And that's how the body of Christ should be! We strive to work together in unity, we edifty one another, and we watch out for one another. When one part of the body gets screwed up, the other parts will help 'em up 'til they ready to roll again. But if we run solo, who's gonna tell us that we the ones that are screwed up?

This is what me and my housemates have been striving for lately. Willing to put out a real effort to build each other up, setting time aside once a week to talk 'bout our lives with God, really being honest and telling each other how we feel they may be screwing up or how they can improve in their life. Sounds homo right?....A bunch of guys setting time aside to talk about feelings? But naw, get the hell outta here! If you think so, you got it twisted. We're becoming stronger and better people with each other's support and criticism, and I can see the change in our lives already. This 'aint any different than any sports team, businesses, or anything that needs the "body" framework to be successful. Only difference is, it's real talk about life with God. The only thing that really matters.

I've learnt a lot from just taking the time to talk to my house. Although I'm doing things outta love, it may not be the most efficient way of doing things. I was really blessed to hear about an outside perspective of me. Now that I know, I can tweak what I'm doing, ultimately to be a better and more efficient me. One of the things that was brought to my attention was that I may come off too strong with my views, that often I come off as someone who doesn't care what other people think. This is not true in my opinion, but if it seems so to others, what difference does it make about what I think. Right?

I think I come off strong because I look up to people that do the same thing. I've learnt and grown so much from listening to people that talk with authority, and because it worked so well for me, it would only make sense that I apply this winning strategy to try to help others right? We're also talking about the Word of God here, The Truth!! I don't feel something this powerful was meant to be whispered into people's ears. I think about all the people that have sugar coated God's Word before delivering it to me, and it really didn't do me any good. Actually made me worse off and stupid. I don't think God wants us to tell people what they want to hear and omit all the painful truths. I'm sorry if I come off as stubborn and aggressive, but this is just my best "impression" of the people that helped grow me up.

I guess the lesson is that I should be a bit more considerate of where people are coming from, but at the same time I don't wanna be one of them pansies that have bullshit dripping off their lips. I try to follow God the best I can, and although I may not be very effective, I'm sure He's pleased with what I'm doing. Through these weekly gatherings at my house, I feel I'm really getting built up. God has once again leveled me up as a Christian. My sword of the Spirit is getting crazy sharp, and my helmet of salvation is shinier than ever. With the way things are looking, the sword's gonna be Cloud Strife size when the year is through. All praise to God!!....

I Never Sleep, 'Cause Sleep is the Cousin of Death-Nas

I am exhausted! Not tired,....exhausted. I reminisce about the days where life was so easy. I do school, chill with people, have fun, live life... easy. I'm not saying that struggles didn't happen in those times, but things just seemed a lot more simple. The joys of youth, being ignorant. You know, "Old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a f***"-Fabolous.

Ecclesiastes 1:18
Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.

Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, talks about how it's worth getting wisdom over folly but with it comes more grief and pain. Spider-Man kinda comes to mind. Maybe not the best analogy, but bear with me. You could say it's better to be Spider-Man than not, but if you see the way he lives, the responsibilities he feels he needs to takes on, Peter Parker's got it bad. Worst of all he gets no praise for his acts of selflessness, but judgment from the very people he's trying to help.

I've been feeling this way recently. Not at a Spider-Man level, but you know what I mean. As I get more of an understanding of God's nature, I feel like I'm getting more and more screwed over. God teaches us to love, and like it says in the Bible, it surely brings me more grief and pain. But knowing what i know though, I can't just stop loving. For you simple minded people, I'm not having girl problems or anything like that, but rather my love for God's people, meaning everyone.

How screwed am I to be in this position? I know something is bringing me pain, but knowing better, I have to keep on taking it. I know God's grace is sufficient, but it doesn't really make it all that easy. For them dudes who think being a Christian is easy or for pussies, you got it twisted. It's the hardest thing in the world. Well, point is, I'm not feeling too hot lately and I guess all I can do is grind it out with God by my side.

Power of God Scares the Hell Outta Me

We talked about the Millenial Kingdom, on tuesday men's cell, and I believe it confused the hell outta lots of people. The Millenial Kingdom is pretty much when after Jesus comes back the 2nd time, and rebuilds earth to the way it was meant to be before we screwed it all up. The way the dude in the video described the Millenial kingdom didn't really seem all that great to me, and it just stirred up a bunch of questions and obvious flaws in his argument that the Millenial Kingdom is the way he described. It was a very unsettling evening 'cause the session didn't really help me in any way to prepare for the end times, but rather just put out a big maybe of what MAY happen, or is already happening in some people's opinions. I could confidently say that many other people may have gotten even less than I did. The only conclusion I could make outta the night was: Who Cares.... I can only have faith and trust in God, that whether if this "crappy" Millenial Kingdom is to come (the it was described in the video), or if it is actually something much better (the way I HOPE it is), God has what's best planned completely for OUR benefit. Not God's benefit, He doesn't need us for anything!, but OURS. Don't get me wrong though, Praise God that Yun-Ping is leading us into such a crazy path for men's cell this semester. Thank God for his heart that He is doing what He believes God wants him to do.

During and after the night, as I spent time with God alone, I came about a very uneasy feeling. I described it as uncomfortable, but it's rather an uneasy feeling. I don't think it was specifically the topic discussed that night, but rather the combined realizations in me throughout this recent month to make me feel this way. I'm not sure, but maybe.....JUST MAYBE, I'm beginning to experience the spiritual side of things more tangibly. I feel I've known God more than ever this last while from the Holy Spirit, and it just scares me to death. I'm very uneasy with the fact that we're dealing with a being as powerful as God. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I feel I would be more at ease if God were not so powerful. Let's just say, that for whatever reason, it's just been made more apparent to me to fear the Lord. End Times talk just happened to push me over a bit.

Faith, God's power, God's love?.....may be one of the things God is trying to "show me"/"build me in". I don't know... Praise God though, for who else but God can this uneasiness come from!! This makes God more real to me than ever, but just also happens to scare the hell outta me.

True to my Brothers

I've been thinking about what I've been doing here in London this last year or so, and I feel like I've kinda failed at reciprocating love back to God. This year more than ever, God has made it very apparent that He loves me to death (litterally :P...), and while basking in the wonderful feeling of it, I've failed to realize that I was doing a poor job at giving it back to Him. I'm not really talking about my personal relationship with God, because that has been great. I'm more dissapointed in my actions to show love towards my brothers in Christ.

Somebody shared the other night at one of our ACF gatherings about how even sinners can show love to those they like, but we are called to love even our enemies. I have been a picker and choose of who gets the excess of God's love that He's poured on me, and I feel I've cheated those who didn't get it because I wasn't as cool with them as others. I'm sure I've let down God from my inaction towards these brothers, but praise God for revealing this to me now. It's really been on my mind today, and I can only try my best to change my ways.

I know God will not love me any less because I've failed Him, but I'm just sorry to those people that I haven't paid as much attention to, and to God for showing such disobedience.

I found something good....PLEASE TRUST ME!!

I've had a few encounters with some friends this last while, and when Christianity was brought up, it seems like they were either turned off, or just confused about the issue. These aren't stupid people either, they're students like myself and I'm sure have a lot of insight on life, and experiences that I myself have not experienced. I don't look down on these people because they don't agree with what I believe as what I know was given from God, so I have no reason to be prideful in what God has given me. I would however just like to make this post to explain why I do what I do, and why I believe what I believe. I should share this in person, but....hahaha I'm kind of a pansy 'bout it, so if you wanna talk to me in person 'bout this, I would love to discuss it with you. Just let me know.

If you haven't figured it out already, I'm a Christian. I believe that God had sent his son Jesus Christ (who is actually God himself) to die in order to save SOME people despite what he knows about humans. What I mean by save, is that when we pass away, we get to go to heaven and spend eternity with God. Why we need to be saved is because we (mankind) are wicked people and is impossible to attain heaven by our wills alone. God gave us a way out, that if we accept what Jesus has done for us then we can spend eternity with Him. It makes no sense that the creator would let the things that He created slay Him, so that the createe would be able to get something they don't deserve. I believe in a God that has this incredible love for us.
I'm gonna be pretty blunt about this shit. I don't wanna water this down so I don't offend anybody.

What I believe is the truth. It's not a just a religion, it's the truth, and regardless whether anyone believes it or not, it's all true. I know this because God gave me this realization. When I talk to you guys 'bout going to church I'm hoping that you guys would have this same realization as myself. I'm doing this 'cause I found something good and I want you to have it too. I'm not trying to fill a stat sheet to show all my Christian friends of all the people I converted. I'm doing this 'cause I know you're good people and I don't wanna see you guys get f*** over when we die. God has even called us to save bad people, so it would break my heart to see a bunch of people that were assholes while on earth in heaven with me, while you guys are in hell. PLEASE just at least give it a chance!!! or talk to me about it.

You don't have to sing hymns in church if you think it's gay, you don't have to do anything, shit I'll buy you lunch if you come. I just really want you to take a listen to what the pastor has to say and hopefully will give you an insight on what's gonna save you. Christianity isn't about what you can or can't do. It's not a list of things to follow. It is to know Jesus Christ and have a relationship with him, it's to realize his ridiculous love for us and to accept it. God wants so bad for you to accept His love. It's free!

Yo, you guys know me, you see how I live my life. Am I so different, and a bad different, that it just totally turns you off of Christianity? I know there is a lot of sketchy stuff surrounding Christianity, and that's because Christians are still human, we mess up just like everyone else, and I'm sure God isn't too happy about it. You may even see some sketchy things in the Bible, the book we use that guides our lives, but once you have accepted Christ, He gives you a new understanding of what He's doing. And yes, because of our faith we do divide people, and God says in the Bible that Christians are going to make lots of enemies, and will be hated by the world but in the end it's all worth it. We divide, but we don't want to. I mean, if what we believe is true, I can't say I truly believe it if we compromise with the things of this world right...We're not trying to 'cause trouble, we're just following God.

If you choose to believe in another religion, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna see you in heaven. God does not let us choose our own way to reach Him. Only His way. Any religion that depends on oneself to attain God is wrong. How can an imperfect people do anything to reach a perfect being by our wills alone. I know the truth because God has told me, and only God can show you guys like He has shown me, but you'll never know Him until you let Him tell you. It's worth it, trust me!

Not Ambitious?...Or just Straight Up Lazy?

1 Timothy 6:7
For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.

Why bust our ass to strive for all these pretty things that the world has to offer when we can't take any of it with us when we pass in a few decades? Why even do things that'll preserve our name on this earth when we won't be around to know about it? It's all a big waste of energy if you ask me, yet there's a part of me that wants to do it anyways. Regardless of my knowledge of this, sometimes I still want to impress the foolish beings we call humans in my time here on earth instead of looking to impress the one I'll be living with forever.

So, what am I doing that'll last for eternity?!?... I believe God is showing me everyday. Striving to know God, loving His people, obeying and following Him, really anything that shows God's glory will last forever because God is the ONLY thing that is forever.

Right now I'm not exactly sure where God wants to lead me or what he wants me to do, but I'm sure God can use me anywhere He pleases. I mean, I'd really like to do accounting but the way things are looking, it's a big maybe. He knows me better than myself and in no way does He let things happen to me to harm me, so whatever happens....happens, I'll let God do His thing right?

I'm often scared to think this way though, as it could be my own excuse for laziness. I also justify it by saying it's the opposite of ambitious, but I'm not too sure. I'm not sure 'cause I know I'm lazy but still want to be an accountant. I just don't find the worth of working so hard in school to ensure my career in accounting. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't study at all, just not as crazy as these other nuccas at school. I mean..I know dudes that breathe school both christian and non-christian alike. It's their life!! I just don't understand what can be so appealing about killing yourself to achieve something you don't get for very long.

Accounting for the glory of God!?!?! It's possible I guess, so killing yourself for the sake of God is worth it if accounting's where God has placed you to shine. But when I'm not sure where He's putting me, should I still bust my ass to strive for this accounting business? Once again God can use me any way, anywhere....

I really don't want to strive for something of such little value, while at the same time not wanting it to be an excuse for being lazy. Am I Selfish?....maybe, Confused?.....very....but I'm just living life. I'm pleased with everything God has given me, I have joy, I have peace, I'm happy (most the time), and I have my eyes and heart for the Lord.

I know there must be a God when I don't know what the hell is going on in my life, a joy (you could say) in my life knowing that there must be a pure and ultimate being who actually does know what's going on.

"Knowledge is King"-Kool Moe Dee

I went to the Chinese Alliance Winter Conference in Calgary this Christmas break and just got back yesterday. The main speaker for the english side was some guy named Dr. Philemon Choi. He's supposed to be super famous and respected in HK and Asia. He's know for his ministry with the government there, his work with the youth in HK, and he just has crazy experience under his belt. If you got chinese christian parents from HK, ask your mommy or daddy, they probably know him.

It was his first time speaking to just the english side and there were high expectations from him. People from the cantonese side skipped their own lectures to come hear him speak. So I'm like "alright, let's hear what the man has to say", I was excited to hear something that would change my life. Unfortunately dude kinda sucked in my opinion.....I'm not gonna say I got nothing outta his talks, just didin't live up to the hype. I think it might be regardless of how compelling his sermons are know to be, there's still a language barrier such that he can't express himself like he does in cantonese. I could tell Dr. Choi had a huge heart for God, and I could see he was pouring himself out.... but it just didn't appeal to me.

I don't wanna hear the crap that I didn't listen to his sermons with an open heart or anything like that either, if what he said doesn't appeal to me, then it doesn't appeal to me. I'm all for learning more and getting wiser too, so for whatever reason, I just didn't get that much out of it. I was kinda dissapointed, knowing that learning about God is unlimited and I only got so little out of a hyped up conference like this.

I'm not sure, but maybe I'm "overblessed" in my fellowship in London, or that the talks our fellowship counsellor gives have broken me down so much already that I'm immune to Dr. Choi's talks. Maybe, his talks weren't geared towards myself....iunno. There were however lots of people that were clinging on to his every word, and I'm not sure, but I think they were just hopin' on the bandwagon 'cause of Dr. Choi's hype. I could be wrong, maybe they really were touched by God through Dr. Choi and that's great!, but if not, there's nothing I hate more than the fakeness in people. Just be you!....I think it's so dangerous at conferences like these that people just start acting a way that they normally wouldn't so they don't look like an idiot. I'm very cautious on what people have to teach me as well.....I mean, I don't know who these people are and how they live everyday. Who are they to tell me anything!?!

Right now I feel kind of arrogant with my faith and I feel bad about it. I don't think God has given me knowledge so I can look down on people. I'm probably more of a fool myself for having this mentality. This christian life is so hard sometimes, actually it's impossible. The more things I learn, there's more things I get to screw up. I guess thank God's grace for giving me this revelation of how stupid I can be, maybe this is the real reason God has brought me to this conference.