Together We Stand, Divided We Fall

They say a family that prays together, stays together
And one that walks apart, falls apart
So together we stand, divided we fall
United we form Volton and take on all (Let's move!)
-Juelz Santana

And that's how the body of Christ should be! We strive to work together in unity, we edifty one another, and we watch out for one another. When one part of the body gets screwed up, the other parts will help 'em up 'til they ready to roll again. But if we run solo, who's gonna tell us that we the ones that are screwed up?

This is what me and my housemates have been striving for lately. Willing to put out a real effort to build each other up, setting time aside once a week to talk 'bout our lives with God, really being honest and telling each other how we feel they may be screwing up or how they can improve in their life. Sounds homo right?....A bunch of guys setting time aside to talk about feelings? But naw, get the hell outta here! If you think so, you got it twisted. We're becoming stronger and better people with each other's support and criticism, and I can see the change in our lives already. This 'aint any different than any sports team, businesses, or anything that needs the "body" framework to be successful. Only difference is, it's real talk about life with God. The only thing that really matters.

I've learnt a lot from just taking the time to talk to my house. Although I'm doing things outta love, it may not be the most efficient way of doing things. I was really blessed to hear about an outside perspective of me. Now that I know, I can tweak what I'm doing, ultimately to be a better and more efficient me. One of the things that was brought to my attention was that I may come off too strong with my views, that often I come off as someone who doesn't care what other people think. This is not true in my opinion, but if it seems so to others, what difference does it make about what I think. Right?

I think I come off strong because I look up to people that do the same thing. I've learnt and grown so much from listening to people that talk with authority, and because it worked so well for me, it would only make sense that I apply this winning strategy to try to help others right? We're also talking about the Word of God here, The Truth!! I don't feel something this powerful was meant to be whispered into people's ears. I think about all the people that have sugar coated God's Word before delivering it to me, and it really didn't do me any good. Actually made me worse off and stupid. I don't think God wants us to tell people what they want to hear and omit all the painful truths. I'm sorry if I come off as stubborn and aggressive, but this is just my best "impression" of the people that helped grow me up.

I guess the lesson is that I should be a bit more considerate of where people are coming from, but at the same time I don't wanna be one of them pansies that have bullshit dripping off their lips. I try to follow God the best I can, and although I may not be very effective, I'm sure He's pleased with what I'm doing. Through these weekly gatherings at my house, I feel I'm really getting built up. God has once again leveled me up as a Christian. My sword of the Spirit is getting crazy sharp, and my helmet of salvation is shinier than ever. With the way things are looking, the sword's gonna be Cloud Strife size when the year is through. All praise to God!!....

I Never Sleep, 'Cause Sleep is the Cousin of Death-Nas

I am exhausted! Not tired,....exhausted. I reminisce about the days where life was so easy. I do school, chill with people, have fun, live life... easy. I'm not saying that struggles didn't happen in those times, but things just seemed a lot more simple. The joys of youth, being ignorant. You know, "Old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a f***"-Fabolous.

Ecclesiastes 1:18
Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.

Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, talks about how it's worth getting wisdom over folly but with it comes more grief and pain. Spider-Man kinda comes to mind. Maybe not the best analogy, but bear with me. You could say it's better to be Spider-Man than not, but if you see the way he lives, the responsibilities he feels he needs to takes on, Peter Parker's got it bad. Worst of all he gets no praise for his acts of selflessness, but judgment from the very people he's trying to help.

I've been feeling this way recently. Not at a Spider-Man level, but you know what I mean. As I get more of an understanding of God's nature, I feel like I'm getting more and more screwed over. God teaches us to love, and like it says in the Bible, it surely brings me more grief and pain. But knowing what i know though, I can't just stop loving. For you simple minded people, I'm not having girl problems or anything like that, but rather my love for God's people, meaning everyone.

How screwed am I to be in this position? I know something is bringing me pain, but knowing better, I have to keep on taking it. I know God's grace is sufficient, but it doesn't really make it all that easy. For them dudes who think being a Christian is easy or for pussies, you got it twisted. It's the hardest thing in the world. Well, point is, I'm not feeling too hot lately and I guess all I can do is grind it out with God by my side.

Power of God Scares the Hell Outta Me

We talked about the Millenial Kingdom, on tuesday men's cell, and I believe it confused the hell outta lots of people. The Millenial Kingdom is pretty much when after Jesus comes back the 2nd time, and rebuilds earth to the way it was meant to be before we screwed it all up. The way the dude in the video described the Millenial kingdom didn't really seem all that great to me, and it just stirred up a bunch of questions and obvious flaws in his argument that the Millenial Kingdom is the way he described. It was a very unsettling evening 'cause the session didn't really help me in any way to prepare for the end times, but rather just put out a big maybe of what MAY happen, or is already happening in some people's opinions. I could confidently say that many other people may have gotten even less than I did. The only conclusion I could make outta the night was: Who Cares.... I can only have faith and trust in God, that whether if this "crappy" Millenial Kingdom is to come (the it was described in the video), or if it is actually something much better (the way I HOPE it is), God has what's best planned completely for OUR benefit. Not God's benefit, He doesn't need us for anything!, but OURS. Don't get me wrong though, Praise God that Yun-Ping is leading us into such a crazy path for men's cell this semester. Thank God for his heart that He is doing what He believes God wants him to do.

During and after the night, as I spent time with God alone, I came about a very uneasy feeling. I described it as uncomfortable, but it's rather an uneasy feeling. I don't think it was specifically the topic discussed that night, but rather the combined realizations in me throughout this recent month to make me feel this way. I'm not sure, but maybe.....JUST MAYBE, I'm beginning to experience the spiritual side of things more tangibly. I feel I've known God more than ever this last while from the Holy Spirit, and it just scares me to death. I'm very uneasy with the fact that we're dealing with a being as powerful as God. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I feel I would be more at ease if God were not so powerful. Let's just say, that for whatever reason, it's just been made more apparent to me to fear the Lord. End Times talk just happened to push me over a bit.

Faith, God's power, God's love?.....may be one of the things God is trying to "show me"/"build me in". I don't know... Praise God though, for who else but God can this uneasiness come from!! This makes God more real to me than ever, but just also happens to scare the hell outta me.