I am exhausted! Not tired,....exhausted. I reminisce about the days where life was so easy. I do school, chill with people, have fun, live life... easy. I'm not saying that struggles didn't happen in those times, but things just seemed a lot more simple. The joys of youth, being ignorant. You know, "Old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a f***"-Fabolous.
Ecclesiastes 1:18
Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.
Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, talks about how it's worth getting wisdom over folly but with it comes more grief and pain. Spider-Man kinda comes to mind. Maybe not the best analogy, but bear with me. You could say it's better to be Spider-Man than not, but if you see the way he lives, the responsibilities he feels he needs to takes on, Peter Parker's got it bad. Worst of all he gets no praise for his acts of selflessness, but judgment from the very people he's trying to help.
I've been feeling this way recently. Not at a Spider-Man level, but you know what I mean. As I get more of an understanding of God's nature, I feel like I'm getting more and more screwed over. God teaches us to love, and like it says in the Bible, it surely brings me more grief and pain. But knowing what i know though, I can't just stop loving. For you simple minded people, I'm not having girl problems or anything like that, but rather my love for God's people, meaning everyone.
How screwed am I to be in this position? I know something is bringing me pain, but knowing better, I have to keep on taking it. I know God's grace is sufficient, but it doesn't really make it all that easy. For them dudes who think being a Christian is easy or for pussies, you got it twisted. It's the hardest thing in the world. Well, point is, I'm not feeling too hot lately and I guess all I can do is grind it out with God by my side.
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2 comments:
hey~ i really like the real tone in your writing. i guess because i hear you as i read since i've heard you talk about this~ i hope you can feel my standing by you, i am =]
my the grace, peace and love of God fill you and keep you from despair~
This is how we live, the raw fact of being a follower of Christ. It just makes me think about much more screwed over was Jesus, when his love not only go unappreciated, but hated for who he is. So with Christ our example, I no longer feel my pain is not worth it, for when he went through his sufferings, now he sits at the right hand of God, just think how God will reward us when we have been the good and faithful servants. as the song from passion goes, I can see a light, that is coming, for the hearts that hold on, there will be an end, to these struggles, but until that day comes, still I will praise you.
How cool is it, that God says, even if someone gives a glass of water to you in my name, he can not go unrewarded. How much more then, will he reward us for the pain and suffering we bear for one another and the love we shared to our neighbours in Christ Jesus name?
I know you got it bad, I know Enoch got it bad, I know Yun ping got it bad, rejection hurts, along with other things, so lets not give up, cos I got it bad too.
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